The notion of having a pleasurable, sexual, and orgasmic birth experience is inconceivable for most people in our culture. In this qualitative and exploratory research, eleven women who reported sexual experiences during childbirth were interviewed and their stories were analyzed using the phenomenological approach. Two major scenarios are derived from these women’s experiences. One is the “Unexpected Birthgasm”, where women experienced orgasms without arousal or sexual stimulation while pushing or delivering their babies. The other is the “Passionate Birth” experience, where women purposefully incorporated their sexuality during their birth experience.

How can birth bring pleasure when it is usually described as painful?

If you say “birth” to a group of women and ask them what they associate with that word, the first reply is usually “pain.” Dreading the pain that is strongly associated with birth, women learn to dread birth itself.

This fear can be strong enough to make women want to avoid experiencing contractions during labor. They expect to ask for pain medications or an epidural block long before they enter the labor room. Others are so terrified at the thought of experiencing the pain associated with labor that they choose a cesarean section, thinking this will spare them pain, although recovery from a c-section is often longer and more painful than from a vaginal birth.

Pain and pleasure ride on the same pathways to the brain. They give a signal to the neocortex, which interprets the experience as either pleasurable or painful. The way we perceive the signal and how we interpret it has a huge influence on our ability to cope with the experience. Most of the women in my research on sexual experiences of women during childbirth described contractions not as pain but as intense, wild, powerful sensations. Using sexual stimulation and connecting intimately and sexually with themselves and their partners during the birth enabled them to reframe their expectations from painful to pleasurable and helped them through labor.

How does sexual stimulation reduce pain in labor and birth?

The same hormones that are present during childbirth occur in all other episodes of women’s sexual lives, including lovemaking and orgasm. These hormones, when allowed to flow naturally and without disturbance, help reduce the pain of labor.

Think about how your body feels when you are absorbed in a sexual encounter. You are relaxed and open . . . your body is receptive to touch . . . and the more aroused you become, the more stimulation you can handle. Actually, you desire it! The greater the arousal, the more a woman enjoys vigorous penetration and intense sexual stimulation.

This adjustment and growth in desire are supported by our hormones. The desire for intense stimulation is nature’s way to make sure that a woman will be a willing and excited participant in making babies. Researchers have found that pleasurable stimulation of the clitoris and some areas of the vagina reduces the perception of pain.

Stimulating the release of the same hormones during birth reduces pain during contractions and helps the woman to relax and open up. In my research on sexual experiences of women during childbirth, women reported that sexual stimulation during contractions helped reduce their pain.

How can a woman plan for a “passionate birth”?

Most people wouldn’t use the words birth, pleasure, and sex in the same sentence. The open minded can learn how well those words fit together.

If you want to have a passionate birth, you must acquire a new way of thinking. You must also prepare and plan.

Begin by checking your belief system to identify your personal beliefs about birth.

• Do you trust your body? Do you believe it is meant to give birth and has the inner wisdom to do so?
• How do you imagine pain during labor and birth?
• Is enjoying sex important in your life?

Next, educate yourself about the physiology of birth (how it works physically) and the psychology of birth (how it works emotionally). Understand what happens in the birth process when a woman experiences fear and learn how different it can be when she focuses on pleasure rather than pain.

A passionate birth is more likely to happen in some settings than in others. When doing research on women’s experiences during childbirth, I found that women who planned for a passionate childbirth chose to give birth at home. They knew they could feel safe there and express themselves in any way they wanted.